alto« A Followup To Butch Obsessed »
I have found that any time issues of homosexuality and masculinity are discussed, tempers run high and words are harsh. My recent piece, A Tip For The Butch Obsessed, was no exception. Commenting on the opinions of Jack Malebranche, author of Androphilia, a rejection of what Jack calls "overloaded gay identity", my piece was not meant as a review of the book, but more of a statement on the mindset that often surrounds similar opinion. As a follow up to that, there is something I wish to clarify, as well as apologize for.
While my opinions stated in the article have not changed in the slightest, and frankly i doubt they ever will, there were two things I regret. In the interactions that followed on this site and other blogs, I had several opportunities to interact with Mr. Malebranche, both in comments and by private email. Throughout those interactions his tone was never anything but professional and polite. I offered the same during those discussions, however I regret my personal comments in the piece. Very simply, they were uncalled for, unprofessional, end of story. I have since apologized to Jack Malebranche personally. Here, I do so publicly.
I also regret not having read his book. Which, by anyones point of view, is ultimately a weak spot to be playing from, if offering opinion. I intend to read the book, giving it the consideration it deserves, then write a substanative review on Androphilia. This site has never been one to shy away from taking a stance in what it felt was right. Hence, the subtitle. That includes when one is wrong. In this case, using the tone and personal comments that I did, was wrong. I fully stand behind my other statements in the piece.
View Printer Friendly Version
Email Article to Friend
Reader Comments (3)
That was classy.
Have been away so I haven't seen your site for a while. I love the new design Al. Beautiful!
It takes a big person to go after someone's perspecitives for the sake of argument but a bigger one to admit they were wrong and apologize for it. You are to be commended.
Fair enough, sir. Apology accepted.And I agree, that was classy of you and I respect you more for doing it.
I'd be surprised if Androphilia changes your mind about anything--about 80% of the readers who write me with positive comments say that it articulates something that they already felt. However, those guys do exist, and for the most part, my experience is that as a group they are not any more insecure about their masculinity or self-loathing than any other group of men, gay or straight. Most are fairly well-adjusted in my opinion. The fundamental reason they are at odds with the gay community is a matter of ideology, not pathology. Taunting them and going out of your way to emasculate them and portray them as pathetic poseurs isn't winning them over to your side (unity is the gay community's ideal--not mine) and if it doesn't seem accurate to an outsider, it really isn't winning you any credibility, either.
Perpetuating the idea that homosexual men can't by nature share the same masculine ideals as straight men is kind of screwed up.
And perpetuating the idea that any man who speaks positively about a non-feminist-approved masculine ideal is somehow a cowering, infantile, insecure, defective man (who 'probably' has a microscopic penis, too!) isn't supported by experience or history. Precisely because masculinity is an area of discussion that is both sensitive and important, attempting to shame a man into agreement is an easy, cheap technique to stifle disagreement. I talk to straight men about this stuff all the time and many of them share my views on both masculinity and homosexuality but are frustrated and unsure about how to deal with any of these issues in a post feminist world where they're getting a lot of mixed messages and have to attempt to communicate politically incorrect ideas in politically correct terms, and risk having to defend their masculinity.
Defending your own masculinity is almost impossible to do without looking ridiculous. I've often said that, because gay people already know I'm a homo, and because I'm talking about masculinity and damning the gay community--I could wrestle a lion with my bare hands and 2/3 of them would find something "gay" about it, and say something 'witty' like, "look at HER, trying so hard to be BUTCH." It's childish and silly and frankly it makes me look right. If a homosexual man can't behave like any other man without being portrayed by his homosexual peers as a poseur or someone who needs to be "re-educated," why should he support or consider himself a part of the gay community. This is, ultimately, why I don't consider myself gay. Gay symbolizes everything I stand *against.* The only middle ground is sex and a few shared legal issues.
Kudos to you for rising about the schoolyard cattiness.