Al,

I heard about this earlier today from George. I am so sorry. I know everyone says this, but if there is anything I can do...please let me know.

Big hugs buddy.

Al...

I can say no more than what I have expressed to you over the phone. For me, death is often a private thing and still very hard for me to handle, even though it has been a part of my life over the past several years, and even more poignant with my father's passing from cancer.

Relish in the fond memories you have of David, the good and the bad, and let those memories sustain you through the moments of pain you might feel.

Damn I sit here and look at that picture and find myself saying...."Damn David had good taste in rugby shirts." (I had to through some humor in there bud!- Plus I have the exact same shirt.)

My prayers go out to you, David, and Family.Hugs.

Al,

My sincerest condolences to both you and David's friends.

While I've only met you once the last trip you boys took to SF, I've known David for over thirty quality years. It's ten minutes to three am SF time, and since getting your call I've been thinking about how best to express who David was to me. I hope this does a bit of justice to a man I've long been proud to call a friend. I mean no offense with some of the stories, as they are all simply great memories.

Some times I will never forget:

Meeting David in 82: We both were first time(and last time) contestants in IML. I knew I liked him when he went on stage and teasingly mocked leather culture, looking oh so hot in chaps, with keys hanging over his left ass...pastel colored toy keys from Fisher Price. Needless to say he did not acquire any titles that year.

Halloween 84: When he walked into The Toolbox in Toronto (leather bar) as "Spunge Sugar", with his two friends as Demorara and I can't remember the thid. At any rate, the three of them calling themselves "a trio of bimbo sluts from hell", outfitted and wigged appropriately in poof skirts and gigantic beehives.

Halloween 87: The year he and his group showed up at Cornelius, with David as an undertaker with four pallbearers carrying a coffin. A coffin that a very coked up Judy Garland drag queen proceeded to fall out of and do a drunk rendition of The Trolley Song, then elegantly get back in her tomb. Completely straight faced, they picked up the coffin, turned, and left the bar. People still talk about that.

The late eighties/early nineties: David was unfailingly there when many if not most of our friends became sick with AIDS and died. He was always the strong one, always the one we leaned on. I recall his pain and strange sense of guilt like so many others, over never becoming sick.

Always: The way he looked in his paramedic garb. It literally took my breath away on many occasions.

When "Freddy the fat beagle" died: Two of the many cards I received when my eighteen year old dog had to be put down will always stand out. One was from the two of you. The other was from your new dog Singher, with her picture on the front, and paw print on the inside. A simple but very personal touch. That was David.

The last time David and I spoke in person: Though I'm afraid it will sound contrived, I remember thinking at the time that his eyes lit up when he introduced you as his partner, as well as when you would say something in conversation. I doubt you could have noticed, but I certainly did.

Al, you have had the benefit of loving and being loved by a wonderful and very special man. In many ways, I envy you.

All the best. Many hugs.

Walter in SF

There will be peace and acceptance and understanding. Until then, and long after, there will be us....David knew your love for 7 years...is there any greater way to spend our time on earth than with someone we love?I'm sorry it was not longer. When you are ready, I look forward to knowing who David was through your stories and memories and those of your friends. Know, though you may feel alone at times, you are not. Though it seems unbearable at times, you will endure. Though you feel sadness, you will know joy again. David loved you and trusted you for a reason:your spirit, your strength, your love gave him what he needed when he needed it most. No one could ask more of a partner. We can never replace David in your life, but we are your friends, your chosen family, and we are with you.Let us share your pain while you share our strength. All our love, Sean & jeffrey

No words of profound wisdom here -- I didn't know David at all, but know that a kind and loving heart lives in your ribcage, and I'll be keeping you in my thoughts today.

Big virtual hug.

Well for once I am at a loss for words. I am still in the comprehending mode. What I can say, is that I am so happy that my ten month old boys had David and Al for godfathers, however brief David's role was. If I can raise them to be half the man that David was, I'll have more than accomplished my weird and scary role as a parent.

A memory to share. Part of David's unique charm was getting away with saying things he would normally be castrated for. In my early days of knowing him, I remember being completely incensed when he referred to some angry point I was making by saying "it sounds like someone has her salty piss flaps in a knot". Before I could reposition my spinning head and rip him a new orifice, his smile and wink actually made me laugh, as I knew the comment was meant in a very tender yet strangely personal way, just for me. As I am now making no sense, I'll just close with hugs and much love.

Karen

Al,

Though it seems way long ago, when I went down this road you and others were there for me. Now I'm here for you.

What has always stuck out from years ago was what you said to me before you said anything else.

"Just take a breath buddy".

As Sean beautifully said above, we will get through this.

Danny

When I lost my father, the best thing/advice that I received came from someone I worked with...I'll paraphrase: The grief will come in waves. Try not to be overwhelmed by the highs, or feel guilty when it ebbs. Ride them and know that they are a normal reaction to death and know that the crests of pain will get further apart as time heals your wounds.

Al, I cannot even begin to express more than the beautiful words and wisdom and hugs that have come already above. My heart, and al of the "strings" that our hearts have, go out to you. I'm so sad. And so sorry. For you. For the family and friends. The tears in my eyes right now go out to you. Huge, giant, hugs....for the lonely times, for the times of trial, my hugs to you.

Al ... I just found you, and didn't know David, but your words, and Walter's and Sean's and others here have tied up my throat and made me close my office door. I can feel your heart coming off the page -- I am so sorry -- inadequate words, I know.

This picture, what a beautiful man, he looks so very kind. (also a hint of humor in the eyes...) I have no words really, but if you feel energy or warmth today, it is the good thoughts and energy being put out by all who know you and all who read this.

Good thoughts to you, Al.

Inside and out, David was ultimately a very beautiful man. I am so, so sorry Al. Thoughts and energy headed your way honey.

Al,

Wow. I really don't think I can add a lot to the wonderful comments and memories above, except that I'm so very sorry to hear this. I couldn't comment yesterday as I really didn't know what to say. So as Gord said in the first comment, anything I can do, all you have to do is ask.

Big hugs.

As George said in his comment: WOW!

I have been completely overwhelmed with the many heartfelt posts, comments, emails and cards people have taken time out of their day to send. Thank you so much.

I'm going to leave the site up as people are still being told (overseas, hard to get a hold of) and I'd like to give them the opportunity after you people have really shown me the potential of the net, and sometimes that potential brings people a bit closer, a bit more connected to each other. Thanks for that.

Gord, George, ebonygal:

Though simple, your words were heartfelt, sincere and something I connected with a more than generous intention. Thanks guys. and gal:)

Tony:

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Thanks for the personal stories we have had often about your own experience with loss over the last fews. I think we operate much more alike that I ever considered. Thanks and hugs (maybe one or two good solid ass gropes as well. :)

Sean & Jeffrey:

What can I say. You have got my through a few dark days and many lengthy but required discussions. As well, I am so proud that Jeffrey will facilitate the memorial. Once again guys, you could not have been better.

Love,

Al

morecowbell:

As I said last night, thank you for the honest response. In a way I'm glad it moved you, as it certainly did me. I look forward to a great online relationship when I slowly get back into the blog game. Thanks!

Lewis:

As always honey, thank you for your obvious support, and getting the card was one of the best parts of a really dark day. You made it brighter.

Gavin:

Those are powerful words, brutal in their honesty but comforting just the same. The last time I lost someone in my life I found the pattern you suggested. And it has been as you said, a bit longer and a bit less intense as time goes on. But no avoiding it, in this case it's going to be brutal. And it will get easier. Thanks

Karen & Danny:

No words needed. We've been through it before, and yes Dan, we'll get through it again. And Karen your SPF reference was, judging from email, a huge laugh inducer, and for the weak bladders among us....I'll just stop there.

Red Seven:

Well for only knowing you a short time, we have weathered a few "gayconservatives" ire, had a few interesting alliances, shared much, and of course, now this. I think it's safe to say we will keep this online thing strong. Thanks for the support Eric.

Walter:

Many of David's friends have so enjoyed your tribute so well written on this page. Not to mention I have read your post about a hundred times, laughing each, crying some. The only story I didn't know was the key thing at IML. Inappropriate or Offensive? Never. A prime time in life for all of you mid eighties. As David knew well, that is my "decade of choice". His opinion on that concept would tend to shift in direction due to how often, how loud, and how many repeats (bad habit) of Big Country, Blondie, Violent Fems and General Public would come blaring out of the den. Though he did put his foot down with The Cure :). Thanks so much for the detailed, warped, and warm stories.

But...one addition I need to share. David and I were in LA heading to the Gauntlet to meet friends. We get our beer, find a wall to lean against and I see Davids face is completely white. The Gauntlet plays gay clips from events, porn, contests, etc. in a running video all night. I don't think David was too pleased to see the title IML 1982 hit the screen. He was out the door in record time, though I didn't miss it for the world. But I did miss the keys!

Al, Sorry to hear the news of David passing. James and I are deeply saddened for your loss. Both of us feel fortunate to have had a chance to meet him even though he was not in the best health. We repeat all of the same sentiments above.

Big Bear hugs from both of us.

AlI know I'm just a reader, but I just want to send out my love and support, I send you my love, my hope, my belief that in your time of pain, I feel pain as well, I don't really know what to say. I wish I could be there to comfort you. I send out the only kindness I know how, as a email. I mourn with you, I am going through loss, but nothing compared to your loss. Much love and support, if you need anything, or just an ear.

Al, ditto everything above. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine going through this. I would run over to hold you if there weren't a continent between us.I didn't know David and have just been getting to know you via the blogs, but I'm three hours later than you if you need someone to vent to late at night.

al I had just clicked back on my email after a trip the Grand Canyon. I'm shcked and so saddened. However some of the tributes have really made me feel like I "know" David. Anytime you need to talk or write, scream, yell, cry, want an insanity check, you have my number. Take care getting through all of the "stuff". I'm hoping the dynamic is a good one?

Love

First of all thank you all for the thoughts, prayers, comfort and support. It was very needed and taken without reservation.

There will be a service/celebration in honor of David's life October 13/2007 2-5pm. If you would like to attend, email me for the specifics.

Once again, thank to all have have thought of us at this time. Singher and I are getting by.

For those interested, I've started writing on the new site, as it is one of the only truly relaxing activities for me at the moment.

Oh, Al,

What sorrow. So good you can be grateful for what you did share with David. I hope life blesses you as you carry on.

Sandra