Montezuma Of The Great White North
Tuesday, May 13, 2008 In retrospect, caution may have been the order of the day. That is, when ordering lunch in a Toronto Tex Mex eatery with a reputation as dubious as it's name, Henando's Hideaway, one would do best to avoid the mussels. The way I am feeling today makes me think I spent the entire lunch hour licking that dirty Hernando's ass! Rude, yes, but oh so true.
So at home I sit, popping immodium, tums, and eating brick cheese, in the futile attempt to bind me up and prevent by the re-enactment of the title of this post, occurring like clockwork at fifteen minute intervals. As if that wasn't enough, I still have no phone, as a gardening accident gone out of control with a digging machine has rendered my entire building without phone lines. Since last Thursday. No, I am not impressed. And yes, I am saying what I swore I would never say. Tomorrow, I'm getting a fucking cell phone.
We hope you have enjoyed this update from Al's bowels, and that you come back soon.
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Reader Comments (9)
Oh shit! Er, sorry.
How ironic! I shot Hershey's chocolate all day today, and apparently you did as well! (I got paid for mine though) Hope you are feeling better buddy!
You are both sick, sick bastards.
I'm going to go with the safe and UNexplicit comment; with no tales of similar experiences, and say, "Get well soon, Al."
3T
PS. Order a pizza with extra cheese. Can't hurt.
;-)
Poor thing- hope you're staying hydrated!! And really you should have known better that to go for the mussels in a joint like that dear. Whilst evil to a degree, if you don't use the cell to chat at the dinner table and other uncouth places, they can be handy.
what tater said was just plain nasty :-) hope you're feeling better by now. the last time i actually puked/shit my brains out was in mexico and that's so inelegant, but so accurate a way to put it. there's nothing quite like it, the position on the potty, with bucket beneath the chin, the ongoing explosions of seemingly endless nastiness. oh, i do feel for you. poor little cupcake.
I don't want to laugh, as I had my own incident recently, thankfully not while on the bike, but shortly after spending two days on the bike...
uh, but I am laughing at the comments.
So the contractions are 15 minutes apart. As long as they don't get any more frequent, and the issue doesn't get any larger, I think you're safe. Relatively.
So sorry. Know how you feel. Hope it clears up soon. There has to be a quantitative limit, right? So it will stop. Doralong is right, though. Stay hydrated. With electrolytes.
I know the saying is that "revenge is sweet", but "Montezuma's revenge" takes on a whole new meaning. Sorry, you're going through "the trots" after all of this and hopefully, this will abate and soon.